• Parent Talk 101

  • Consider This:

    Maybe you feel like your parents just don't get it. Perhaps you wish they would stop treating you like a child or quit judging every little thing you do. Or maybe you just want them to listen. Lots of people just like you wish they knew what to do to make talking with their parents just a little easier. Whether it's the big stuff or the day-to-day grind here are some simple things to consider:

    • Keep your parents in the loop about the little things; it makes the hard conversations easier.
    • Remember your parents are people (faults and all) who love you and really do want what's best for you.
    • Getting advice from your parents doesn't mean you're acting like a kid again. Weigh their opinions with
                your own ideas and find the compromise that works in your life.
    • A respectful tone goes a long way.
    • Timing is everything. When you have bad news or want a favor, pick a time when mom or dad are relaxed
                and open to chatting. Minutes before they are walking out the door is NOT the time to bring up a failing
                grade or ask for a favor.
    • As you grow into adulthood your relationship will change and so will expectations - both yours and your
                parents'. Be sure that you all are on the same page to avoid misunderstandings.
    • If you feel like you are being judged, ask yourself if your parents are simply offering a suggestion rather 
                than making a demand. Sometimes help can come across as judgement even when it's not.
    • Remember to stick to the facts and be honest. While it may be uncomfortable, people need
                all the information in order to be able to help you effectively.
  • Words To Say:

    Talking to our parents (grandparents, teachers, counselors, coaches, mentors etc) about real life can be hard and embarrassing at times. But it's likely that these are the people who already know you pretty well and they can be a great source of information. They can help you gather facts and assist you in getting the help you need. Here are some words to say to get the conversation started:

    • I need to tell you about a problem I'm having.
    • I'd love your advice on _________________.
    • I did something I know was wrong, but I want to fix things. You might be mad, but I need your help. Can I
                tell you?
    • Lately school has been making me really anxious. Can you help me find ways to relax?
    • I don't know how to handle ________, can you help me? I am feeling __________ and it's freaking me out. What 
                would you do?

    If you are angry or frustrated:

    • I’m feeling really frustrated and need time to think about this.
    • I’m upset right now, but I do want to keep talking about this later.